How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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