What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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test

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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