Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mama so old, shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops