Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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