Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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