An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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what are you mike bibby?

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops