How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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