What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops