how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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ugvvvvvv

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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