Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Potassium? K.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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