What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

All of these jokes are about white people

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops