Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Potassium? K.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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your mom.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops