What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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