Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

Poop

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

feminism

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...