I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops