Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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A Serbian Film

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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