An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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