What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops