what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Ol-ive

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops