Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops