Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

pull my finger (farts)

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Who's the fastest kid in AA

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

69

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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