What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...