How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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