what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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