Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops