A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -17

WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

one stop shop

thumb_up thumb_down -17

During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops