Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops