What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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