Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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