Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

thumb_up thumb_down -25

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops