What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Your Mom

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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