So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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