What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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