A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -2

the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you save a black man ... u don't

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops