Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

whats black white and red all over an abused child

"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Potassium? K.

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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