A dancer walks into a barre

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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