Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops