What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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