how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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womens rights.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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