Read a Book.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops