Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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What is the difference?

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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