What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops