Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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What's blue? The sky.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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