Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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