Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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