What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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