Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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TOP KEK

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops