How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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I'm Batman.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops