Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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salad days!

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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