why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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