Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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