How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Why so serious ?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Your Mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops