Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

i saw amango it splootered

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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