what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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