Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops